I want to talk to you about your reality. And I want to throw a spanner into the works, or just give you something to think about as to HOW REAL is your reality.
And the reason I want to talk to you about this is that I've had conversations with a couple of clients this week and I wanted to share this with you.
So basically, it started with a client of mine who was expressing her amazement at how quickly things in her life were improving and changing when in reality, she didn't feel like she changed at all. And I was explaining to her why that was. So I want to talk to you about that now.
I want to talk about time first.
So, time is just a construct.
Time is something that we created so that we can keep track of time, so that we can stay on time, so that we can have appointments and meetings and be there. And to stop us sort of hanging around for a week and waiting for someone to turn up because we had no idea of time, we just thought we'd meet here.
So, time is something that we created. It allows us to feel like we're in control. It does give us a measure of control, right? But in reality, there is no such thing as time…
There just is this present moment that is moving through space.
Now, everything that had happened in the past is really just a memory. And everything that is about to happen, it's really just a plan.
I kind of see it almost like a wave, and we're on the tip of this wave, and it's just moving along.
And that is our reality right?
Now, why am I explaining to you the concept of time?
It's because even though there is only this present moment that we are in right now, our reality of this present moment is created from our past. It's created from things that happened previously in time. And this is because it's things that happen to us, that formed beliefs in us, that is what's creating our reality.
So, for instance, when we're small children, and we're born into this world, and we live our first three to four years with an unconscious mind, an automatic mind, just trying to survive. We’re trying to make sense of the world. We're trying to understand what's happening.
We're born into this world with no bleeding idea about what's going on. And then there are these adults, and then they give us food. And, you know, we cry, and we want stuff. And we learned that if we do this, and that happens, and we start to learn all these rules, but it's us considering these rules, because especially initially when we first born, we don't understand language even, right?
It's almost like we're deaf, dumb, blind, just trying to work out what's going on the world. And that's scary. It's really scary place to be.
So, we form rules in our mind and structure and framework that we can work off that allows us to make sense of the world. And these rules, this structure, this framework, like beliefs that we create, beliefs about ourselves, belief about other people, belief about the world in general.
And we do this sometimes in such a way where it's not such a good thing to believe. But having that belief that maybe is not such a good thing was better than having no belief at all, because it's scary having no belief because we're totally out of control.
And when we form this shitty belief, at least, it is a form of control. And it allows us to be in our comfort zone.
So let me give you an example.
When you're a small child, adults are like gods, right? They can do no wrong. They get to tell you what to do, when to do it. And you can stamp your feet and you can do all this. But at the end of the day, it's them that gets to say what it is.
So, when they do something to us that's pretty shitty, we can't make sense of that. And sometimes the only way that we can make sense of that is to form a belief about ourselves, even though it was about the adult.
We form a belief about ourselves about the world. And that gives us a sense of stability. So that belief might be
“Oh, that happened because I'm not lovable.”
“They didn't read me a bedtime story because I'm not lovable”
“They didn't give me dessert because I don't deserve it.”
“This didn't happen because I'm not worthy.”
Now, you may laugh at this, if you haven't done a lot of deep work on yourself. But this is the stuff that I see coming up time and time again, with my clients. These things that to us, when we look at them don't seem that traumatic, but they were they were very powerful because they formed our belief system.
And it's like concrete being poured over our foundation that we build our life off. And it's these beliefs that are in this concrete, this foundation, that is what creates the way we see the world.
So, if you have a belief that you're not worthy, when somebody says something to you and maybe they just teasing you, you'll take offense because what they've said in your mind is now backing up your belief.
So, you know, when you're having conversations with people, there's what they think, there's what they say, this is what you hear, this is what you think they said.
So even between two people, it's like a Chinese whisper going on.
Their filters, their belief system, stuff coming out, going into you, through your filters, your belief system going in.
And it's amazing that we can actually have coherent conversations at all.
Some of us tend to hang with people that are like us, that have similar beliefs and foundational belief systems as us because it's more comfortable, because we understand and we know them and they're looking at stuff in a similar way to us.
But you might have a sibling that has a totally different memory of your childhood. So maybe what you remember as being amazing, they thought it was horrific. That's because they interpret the information too differently. They may have formed a belief earlier on that made them believe this. So then whenever something happened to the two of you, they're interpreting it in a different way to you.
So it is time to make sense about how it's our past, and our belief system, which actually is creating our reality right now,
Even while you're reading this, you might have certain things popping up in your head. certain words like, “Oh, this is bullshit“, or maybe “Oh, my God, that makes so much sense to me.”
All these things that are popping up in your head, is due to your belief systems.
Now, how is this impacting us?
Well, the problem is that these beliefs that we have from the past are often what we've created this reality that we have now. But maybe this reality that we have now is not the reality that we want.
And maybe you've been pushing and pushing, trying to get to this other reality, this reality that's over here where it's not so much that you're better, where your life is better, but it's just different.
You think it's going to be better. But that's not the truth.
But that's a case in point for a whole different blog post. We're going to get to that.
So, you're basically trying to push for this different reality where you think, you know your dreams are going to come true, everything you've wanted is going to be there.
But unfortunately, your belief system is not aligned with this new reality. Therefore, you're never going to get there.
Because for you to take the action that's going to give you that reality is not aligned with your belief system.
Now your belief system, which you are quite often totally unaware of is in the unconscious mind. And it's the unconscious mind that drives our actions or inactions and our reactions.
So, if the unconscious mind is being driven by an old belief system, and you're trying to create something that those beliefs isn't aligned with, then your unconscious mind is going to continuously block you.
You're going to come up with these very logical reasons for why you shouldn't do this. Or you shouldn't do that, or shouldn't do this. Or maybe you should do that. Or maybe you should change what you're doing, because that's not working and all this stuff.
Or maybe you actually get to where you want to go, you've pushed hard enough. It's like trying to hold that beach ball underwater, and keep on holding it because it's not in alignment with your belief system. So, you can't actually just have it, you got to force it.
And then when you get there, for some reason you decided that's not what you want, or we have to be over here, or now you want something else.
This foundational belief systems in this reality that you have now is stopping you from being where you want to be.
But do not despair.
This is not where you have to be forever, okay?
These things that are causing your resistance can be shifted.
You have to do the work, obviously.
I mean, you've taken a long time and many, many years of strengthening these beliefs and layering them up. Because every time something happens that backs up that belief is strengthened. It was obviously the way you interpreted that thing that's backed up that belief in the first place.
It's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Always going around, because you believe it, it's going to happen, because that's how you see it, right?
So, you're strengthening and strengthening them.
I kind of see them as like snarls in the fabric of time. They're almost like these things that are lit up in this three-dimensional mapping of their life.
And if you think about your life, if you think about your childhood, especially, I mean, maybe you don't really have any memory of childhood.
Or maybe you just have very specific ones, these things that are like, you know, light bulbs in your mind.
And you think that that was your childhood, right? But in reality, what were the things that happened to you that created this belief system, there were things that happened that were important. That's why you remember them because it's like they're tied in the fabric of time.
Now, I'm not saying that every childhood memory that you have is a bad one. We do form good beliefs as well. We form beliefs that are also helpful to us.
It's not always negative stuff, but it's the negative ones that are keeping us trapped and struggling.
So, I'm talking about them. These snarls, if we can uncover what they are, and work through it, it's almost like you can calm them down, they can flatten back down and go away totally. Then all of a sudden, that thing that happened that created that belief is no longer there.
It's like the light has gone out like this, this light bulb has gone. And it's, it's one less thing that's holding this belief structure in place.
And boulder by boulder, you're moving with resistance that is keeping you where you are.
Our mind was like a maze with all these walls in. One by one, we're lifting out the walls.
We can't take all the walls out at once because it would blow your mind.
We need a belief system so that we can make sense of the world.
But what we need to do is remould that belief system, re-change that underlying structure of what that belief system is so that it serves you. So it allows you to move in the direction that you want to go.
If you think about a river, a river always follows the path of least resistance. The belief system that you have is creating a path of least resistance, but when that path of least resistance of where it's going to is not where you want to be, that's where the problem happens.
Now, maybe you're 100% happy where you are. And that's, that's fantastic. That's amazing. That's great. But if you're not, that's where the problem is.
When I work with clients, either through hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, or through a superconscious recoding, what we're doing is we're removing these snarls from time, these walls, these lenses over their eyes, allowing them to see things in a certain way.
It allows them to start to act differently, start to change the riverbed, so instead of flowing over here, it flows over there. And then they start to be able to have action, to be able to have things happen.
So, this was what was happening for my client, things were shifting and changing around her. But she still felt the same, because she wants to listen, right?
It was her belief system that was changing, which meant that all of a sudden, the actions that she was doing was different. And it was creating different results for her. But she still felt the same, because she was never the problem.
And I find this particularly amazing because we don't have to change. We don't have to change what we're doing to get to where we want to go
You know, we aren't broken, we're perfect just the way we are, but we need to shift so we can take that action in an effortless way.
Not strained, not pushing, not in a way where we're pulling on the elastic band and it's going to snap back.
When I work with clients, the way I see it is that they're standing at a train station when we start and maybe the train station only has one track out of it.
Maybe it's a little country town train station and it goes to one destination.
But it's not where they want to go, they want to go over here.
And when we start working with them, what happens is this train station all of a sudden, more tracks is running out of it, more destinations appearing on the horizon, more things that they could have, because they can believe differently and act differently. Until they're at the point where they can do what they need to do to get to where they want.
I'm never going to say it's easy, but it becomes easier, it becomes possible, it becomes more effortless, because it becomes a flow, rather than a push. And that's where the difference is.
Now, if you are reading this and if it's resonating with you and you're thinking, “Oh my god, that's me. I'm just pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, but always end up at the same spot.” I want to invite you to come on to a free recode session with me.
It's an introductory recode session where we work the superconscious mind.
Now the reason I'm inviting you to this is because it's not scary at all.
There's no hypnosis, there are no trances, all you do is just listen to me talk.
And then we do a quick recode with your superconscious mind just to start to shift some of the resistance that you have that is stopping you from getting where you want to go.
We just go through a really easy five-step process. During this one hour, I do a little bit of coaching with you, we go through it, and it's a group thing too. So, it's non-confrontational, you can just sit there and listen to what's going on.
And just even within that one introductory session, you will have a slight shif. Maybe you will have a powerful shift but even just a slight shift is going to allow you to start moving stuff flowing more towards where you want to be than where you are now.
So, if you want to do that it's donnajoyusher.com/recode-eoi
Just fill out the form and I'll let you know When I’m running them.
As I said, It's not scary. It's not one on one, it's a group thing.
So, you can hide in the back of the group on zoom (in your head anyway), and you can just see what I'm talking about and start to have a shift so that you can start flowing freely towards that dream life that you're after.
I look forward to seeing you on an instructional recode.